“I love the person I’ve become because I fought to become her.”
Well hello there me,
You’ve been on my mind a lot lately. I’m writing to you from my living room, sitting on the couch with a view of fall outside my window. It’s a time in our life where change is constant and somehow we still haven’t quite become comfortable with it. The uncertainty and fear about the future still lingers from time to time, but it’s normal (at your age and mine). Life isn’t always easy and you’ll make mistakes, but don’t let that get to you. Each and every mistake you make will be a learning experience and you’ll look back appreciating all those moments because they have made you into the woman you are today (and she’s pretty awesome).
You’re a dreamer. You believe in fairytales. You find joy in the little things. As you grow up, you’ll notice that these qualities (yes, they are qualities) fade in others, but make sure they don’t fade in you. They bring joy to others and inspire more than you know. Truth is that life is going to throw a lot of shit your way and it’s going to be hard to keep your head up. But remember this – whenever you feel that life is falling apart, it’s actually falling into place. Life won’t alway look like the fairytale you want it to be, but you’ll get used to the spontaneity of life and learn to appreciate those moments. You’ll learn to embrace the curve balls that life throws your way and trust that whenever something bad happens, it’s just the universe setting you back on the path you’re supposed to be on. You’ll get knocked down (over and over again), but just remember that it’s how you get back up that matters.
There will be times that you’ll feel you’re not good enough. There will be times when you’ll feel you’re not pretty enough. There will be times when you’ll feel that you’re not smart enough. But all of that is bullshit. And anyone who tells you different is just an asshole. Everyone has an opinion and although it seems like what people think matters so much, it’s doesn’t mean shit. You’ll never please everyone so stop trying and do what makes you happy.
You’ll go through life doing what you think you should be doing and making decisions that you know others will approve of. And eventually you’ll learn to stop doing that and live your life for yourself. I know it’s in your nature to want to make others happy, but don’t forget to take time for yourself too. Unfortunately you won’t understand this until it’s too late. The good news is that the burn out that you think sets you back will actually be an eye opening experience. You’ll learn to trust you instincts and make decisions based on what you know is right for you rather than based on “what you’re supposed to do”. You’ll learn to say no and put yourself first (and not feel guilty for it). You’ll learn to measure success in the experiences you have rather than the clothes hanging in your closet.
You have insecurities (we all do), and unfortunately some will use them against you. Make you feel that you don’t deserve better and that no one cares about you. Unfortunately, this also means that you’ll stay in toxic relationships (and friendships) longer than you should. But here’s the thing – first, don’t let the insecurities of others shape your thoughts. You’re fucking gold and anyone would be lucky to have you just as you are. If you feel you need to change anything about yourself, change the person putting these ideas into your head. Second, the friends you have now probably won’t be the friends you have later (and that’s ok). We outgrow people all the time; it’s how we grow. In fact, as time goes by you’ll have fewer friends but they’re going to be the best friends a girl can ask for. Supportive, honest and there to pick you up when you’re at your lowest. Cherish that shit (it’s another sign of success).
Now I know that you’re a romantic at heart and I have two things to say about that. First, don’t let your sense of hope and loyalty cloud your judgement when it comes to relationships. Yes, there’s beauty in being committed to another and doing all that you can to make a relationship work, but there’s also a time when you need to accept the inevitable. You’e heart will break, it’s going to hurt, you’re going to cry (a lot) and feel like you’ll never be able to open your heart to anyone ever again. But trust that you’ll get what you deserve. You’ll meet a man that’s too good to be true, who loves you more that words can say, will notice all the little things that make you smile and spend each day trying to make you happier than the last. He will be your greatest supporter and be your strength when you feel you’ve lost yours. You’ll get your fairytale and he will be your Prince Charming. You’ll stop searching for happiness within another person and instead find someone who makes you happy just being yourself.
You’ll make mistakes, sometimes you’ll learn from them and sometimes you won’t. But you’ll see that in each and every experience there’s a lesson to learn. It’s what will make you a better person. You’ll stop being so angry against the world and start seeing things in a more positive light. You’ll finally forgive the universe for taking your dad too soon and trust that he’s with you every day (and yes, he is proud of the woman you’ve become). You’ll learn to love yourself and try to inspire others to do the same. There’s nothing that life throws your way that you won’t be able to handle. When you’re weak, I’ll be strong. We’ll get through this together.
I love you.